Posted by: ubahleeob | September 27, 2011

The Legacy

The boys a few years back, under the hot Mexican sun.

There is an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” where Raymond writes his father’s epitaph. Only one thing, dad is still living.  Dad finds out and hilarity ensues.   As I approach my 50th year on planet Earth, I have been thinking more and more about my own death.  Not in a macabre manner, but I think sometimes it might be healthy.  All men ask themselves these questions; have I been a good dad, a good husband, a true follower of Christ?  It’s like the final scene in Saving Private Ryan; have I been a good man? Maybe we never really grow up, we little boys always need someone to tell us we’re doing ok.    Sadly, many of us never get to hear what people really think of us until we’re dead.  (I know we don’t then either, but stick with me.)  I think that’s sad.  Life is short, the people you love might be gone before you finish reading this. Not trying to be melancholy, but our life is but a vapor.   Well, in the midst of all of this stock-taking I received an unexpected text from my oldest son.

I am blessed, I have two sons  and we share many of the same interests.  Both are musical and creative just like their dad.  Both are attempting to find what delicious adventure God has planned for their life.  Sure we disagree (like when my oldest decided that wearing make-up was the thing to do).  I am from a different generation so a difference of opinion is bound to happen.  But I think all and all we get along pretty well for a dad and his sons.

So back to the text. A couple of days ago my oldest and I had been discussing another father/son relationship.  This relationship has turned ugly like only Shakespeare can turn ugly.  This story has all the classic ingredients:  lying, betrayal, lust and greed . Great if you’re trying to write the next great American tragedy, but not so good if you’re living it.

The next morning when I checked my phone, I found this text on my phone:  “this text is to tell you you are the most amazing father I could ask for. You are the wisest man I know, and I look up to you the most out of any person in my life. I hold you in such high regard in my life that it sometimes leads to fear of you. If that makes any sense, I don’t know. I wouldn’t be the person I am today. You taught me to see sunsets as God’s paintings, you taught me to have passion. You taught to have hope no matter how hard it gets. Most importantly, you taught me what life is really about, what it’s all about, and for that I could never thank you enough.  My love and gratitude towards you is greater than a text can communicate, but always know that it is there, always know that this is how I see you.  You are the man that gave me the key to REAL life, thank you.”

As I read  through tear stained eyes, I really didn’t know what to think.  I was humbled by his words, almost looking around to see if he might be talking about someone else’s dad.  We all hope that our kids see us this way. Yet  once you are faced with it, the responsibility  of the years really hits you.  It coalesced right before my eyes. They really are watching, they really do listen.  Sort of scary and wonderful at the same time.  I have two almost adult sons, about to take the world full force in the face. They will fail and  they will succeed. They will know times of unimaginable fear and moments of transcendent bravery. These are my sons.   There is really no better legacy.

Posted by: ubahleeob | July 21, 2011

Are oppportunities ever really lost?

Wow, long time no write.  It’s funny, I say I love to write but I guess since I do so much writing at work I rarely find time to write for fun. I work in hospitality and most of the writing I do starts something like, “Dear Guest, I am so sorry you didn’t enjoy your stay yada, yada, yada……”  — definitely not fun.  But I’m not here to write about the incredible impatience and true loss of civility among the traveling public.  No today, there is something else on my mind.  Are opportunities ever really lost?

Now the quick answer is, “well of course!”  That makes sense.  This seems to be especially true in our lives if we claim to be followers of Jesus.  The typical line of reasoning states:” God has a plan for your life, there are doors along the way.  If you fail to open one of those doors, they are gone forever. You just have to move on.”  I have heard and thought this  most of my life.  I have often wondered (with some amount of guilt and fear) how my life would’ve been different if I had taken advantage of some of the opportunities that I am sure I must have missed.

But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if this is really the way God sees things.  First off, I would never, and I mean never, attempt to speak for God.  But one of my problems with the idea of limited opportunities is what I’ll call “the logic of the straight line”.  Yes, our lives do run in a line.  We are born (point A) and then we die (point B).  But God, he really doesn’t do lines.  He moves in and out, up and down, this way and that  along that line. He creates lines, he is never held captive by them.  It all starts with him and has it’s completion in him.

A couple of examples: Jonah,  everybody knows the story.  God gives Jonah an opportunity.  Jonah says no.  Jonah takes cruise.  Boat nearly sinks. Guys on boat throw Jonah overboard to save their own necks. God provides unusual transportation for Jonah  and he arrives pretty much  where God intended.  In this case, Jonah not only seemed to missed the opportunity, he turned it down.   But the story would lead  the reader to think that this  was something that God had expected all along.  Look at how the story turned out.

We probably all have examples like this.  In my own life I’ve seen time and time again where things that seemed like opportunities soured only to lead to something unexpected.

We wanted to live near the beach. For almost  20 years we talked about, prayed about, dreamed about and wondered if it would ever happen.  My wife is a teacher and three years ago she lost her job.  That began a long process that eventually led to us relocating and living by the beach (actually less than five minutes from blue-green beauty of the Gulf of Mexico).  As I look back on all that happened,  I think the only missed opportunity was were we just had to  wait for God to do what only God can do.  Instead we cried, we wondered, we questioned, we cried some more,  but all we had to do was wait.

I think it’s that “follow me” thing that really throws most of us for a loop.  We Americans love to chart our own course. We are the captains of our own fate. We pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps.  We keep the wolf away from the door.  We are the definition of all things self-reliant.   And maybe the straight line of opportunity would work, in a perfect world.  But this world is anything but perfect.  It is upside down and broken, sort of like Humpty Dumpty waiting to …. well you know.

So what does all this mean.  For me, it is trying to learn that I can only do so much.  I can’t see every opportunity.  I probably can’t see most of them.  If I miss something, isn’t God big enough to get me back where I need to be, even if it takes a ride in a Grouper?  The Bible seems to say that we should probably be  careful before we drop the curtain on something and head to the house..  The Bible says, “So don’t get ahead of the Master and jump to conclusions with your judgments before all the evidence is in.” (I Cor 4:5, The Message Version).  Too many times I have declared the game over, thought the patient was lost, the deal was dead and  I have been proven wrong. I suppose in this case,   it’s good to be wrong!

Posted by: ubahleeob | December 17, 2010

Christmas and Cinnamon Rolls

I was thinking today about Christmas traditions.  We all have them. From when and how you trim your tree to how and when you open your presents. Christmas is all about traditions.  I think it’s the transcendent feeling it brings.  I still do things I did with my departed grandmother (can it be Christmas Eve without Bugles and Onion Dip?). These traditions connect us to our past and we hope, to our children’s future.  It’s the thought that even when we are no longer here, we are still a part of something.  We are still remembered. When the stories of our traditions are explained and passed on, we will be there.

We have a Christmas tradition; Cinnamon Rolls on Christmas morning.  We were living in Arkansas at the time, the kids were small.  I was working for a bookstore company and money was really tight.  Christmas morning rolled around and I had this idea to do something special. Of course all of the stores were closed, but at the end of the street was a Texaco gas station  that also stocked freshly made, gourmet  Cinnamon Rolls. I know, only in Arkansas.  Hoping against hope, I drove down to the store to see if anything still remained.  Amazingly, there sat a couple of boxes that had survived the final holiday rush. 

I grabbed them, paid the cashier, and hurried home.  It’s funny, while these rolls looked wonderful; they were a couple of days old and had begun to get a bit stale and  harden. That might explain why they were still in the store!  Still, with the hope to make Christmas “special” for the family, I took them home, worked some food magic Alton Brown would’ve been proud of, and enjoyed my first (of many) Christmas morning Cinnamon Rolls.

 Even now, thinking about this makes me a bit teary.  So much in our lives has changed since then.  We have moved five times through three different states and lots of life has been lived.  Friendships have been made and friendships have been  lost. Yet one thing remains constant, the question that one of my now (almost) adult son’s asked just the other day, “Dad is gonna make sure we have Cinnamon Rolls for Christmas morning right?”  Without a doubt … it’s a tradition.

Posted by: ubahleeob | November 7, 2010

Requiem For A Friend

Why do we do things we do?  I am dealing with the news that a friend and business peer of mine took his own life yesterday. All sorts of questions come to mind, with the most prominent being, “Why?” I have ideas, but doubt that I will ever know for sure, this side of heaven.  My friend confessed to be a follower of Jesus.  I know that Christians take their own lives, but I always wonder why  knowing what we who walk The Way know, why can’t we find comfort in the fact that “the story” is larger than just our individual part.

As I said, I have some ideas about what brought my buddy to this end.  He was middle aged and single, alone except for  his job and his church.  These  two things  took most of his life.  I just watched a video of the ministry were he served.  He looked happy, he seemed content.  His job was another story.  He managed a Homeowner’s Association and we worked for the same company.  While he and I were not in the same chain of command, our jobs and duties often crossed paths.  He was an Air Force veteran, just like me, so we would often regale each other with stories from our days in blue. If not doing that, we would trade crazy hospitality stories.  Good times.

Over the last nine months the board of the condo that he managed began to focus on every mistake he made.  None of these were business-altering mistakes, but my friend was human.  Sometimes they weren’t even really mistakes.  It’s like the guy that I used to watch on Ed Sullivan, he would spin plates on sticks. The more he got to spin, the more he would try to spin.  There is a point where he could no longer keep all of the plates spinning; some were bound to fall.  That’s what happened to my friend.  The pressure continued to mount and eventually the Board cancelled their management agreement, meaning my friend would be losing his job.

We talked about the unfairness of the situation. I have experienced something very similar to this and I have watched others go through the same thing.  You try everything possible to make someone happy and no matter what you do, it’s never good enough. It stinks. Plus, I’m sure our company blamed him (and him alone) for losing the contract. This was a major business defeat. He must’ve felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Due to his “failure” not only would he lose his job, but others would be forced out of their jobs too.

He was to have worked through today.  This weekend was the annual Homeowner’s meeting.  It was the forum where the news would be announced that another company was coming on board to take his place. He was expected to attend.  To me it felt like being asked to watch your own execution.  When he didn’t show up to work, we all thought he had just decided not to partake  in the proceedings.  That’s a lot to ask of someone, no matter how “professional” you are. Who could blame him?

What I’ve really been thinking about is how this illustrates the unknown impact of our actions.  Yes, this is an extreme example, but is there anyone that has not been hurt or damaged by something someone else said or did?  Better yet, what is my responsibility?  It takes the idea that “it’s not personal, it’s only business” and turns it on it’s head.   Meg Ryan, when faced with the loss of her beloved book store in You’ve Got Mail, was told, “It’s nothing personal, it’s only business.” Her response seemed to sum up what we all instinctively know “ all that means is it’s not personal to you, but it’s personal to me.”

Hopefully, my friend is resting in the arms of his merciful Father. Hopefully, my friend knows that it wasn’t his fault. Hopefully, he  has found there what he was missing here.  Hopefully, a few of us are reminded that we are, in fact, our brother’s keeper.

Posted by: ubahleeob | June 26, 2010

Changing Names

 Wow, it has been a very long time since I tried to write.  A lot has happened and a lot hasn’t.  Both (the haves and the have nots) will probably be used for some writing fodder in the near future.  This is the first blog under my new name, “Where Do We Go From Here”.  Always a fan of the Alan Parson’s Project tune, these six words sort of sum up what life is like for me now.  The dream of moving to the beautiful Gulf Coast has come true after 18 long years. But I have found that sometimes things aren’t what they always seem to be and what we imagine things will be like isn’t always the case.  I  thought when The Dream came to pass, everything would fall into place.  I’m sure that all of you knew that wouldn’t be the case, forgive me for being so naive.

 I wrote in a past blog about my desire to find the groove again.  Drummers and other musical types will understand that, I won’t belabor the point a second time. I know there are people who can float aimlessly and be at peace. I need the feeling of purpose, the feeling of momentum.  In the words of Jessica Rabbit, “I’m  drawn that way”. 

Four years ago we (the family) started a journey that has led us here.  Much of what we had thought would happen  didn’t come to pass but still the experience provided inertia to move us to the next point.  But here I am feeling, as I told a peer the other day, chronically apathetic wondering, “Where do we go from here.”  I have all of the pat answers to solve such a conundrum: pray, listen, wait, and repeat — but I am growing weary of pat answers.

Yet and still, I know that God is here.  I see him in my son’s creativity, I see him in my wife’s smile, and yes I see him when I look out on the most beautiful beaches in the world. Even with all of that, the question remains (sing it with me if you know it)  where do we go from here…..

Posted by: ubahleeob | October 31, 2009

Trying To Find The Groove

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Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything. Sorry for the prolonged absence. In the words of Jackie Gleason, “So away we go…..”

Wow, what a difference a few months make.  In the past months we have completed our long discussed move to the Emerald Coast of Florida, to the World’s Most Beautiful Beaches, to the Redneck Rivera — Panama City Beach.  And as it happens with most journeys, this one had it’s own special ups and it’s own special downs.  Yet and still, God was God and we now live a block from The Beach.  It’s a five minute walk from front door to wet feet.  You have to love that  So what’s the problem?  As of late I have really felt, well …. lost.  Maybe lost is the wrong word, perhaps “out of sorts” explains it better.

As a drummer I know a lot about being out of sorts.  For those of you non- musical types, for all of the loudness and bravado and the endless (useless) drum solos every used to assault music listeners,  drummers have basically one purpose in a band — they keep everyone together.  Being out of sorts is something we don’t do. We are  order.  As the old drummers used to say, “it’s all about keeping it on the 2 and 4.”  It’s a feeling.  We drummers call it being in the groove, or in the pocket — we know when we are there and we know when we aren’t.  And lately, we ain’t there.

Granted, everything here  is new.  New job, new place to live, trying to start new relationships.  So I guess a groove might be harder to find, the song is new (to keep the musical metaphor going), but yet and still — this is new territory for me and for some reason I am really having “issues” finding the beat.  And it’s really starting to bug me.

So what do you do?  I’ve found over the years that the worst thing I can do is trying to force the groove.    As with most musicians, there have been times when  in the middle of a tune I thought, “something isn’t right  here”.  Oh you can try and find “it” — but usually with inconsistent results.  It’s funny, when I concentrate on the beat, really focus on keeping the meter right — I tend to play like a box with arms.  No feeling, no passion — just “boom, chick, boom, chick.”  That’s great if you are a drum machine, but not so good for anything else.  Maybe that’s what’s happening now.  In my intense desire to find out what God is doing, where God is leading I’ve lost sight of the bigger picture, I can’t hear the music for trying to listen for the click.

Sadly,  there really isn’t a single answer.  For many of us, that’s a shock.  We love knowing the answer. But God in his mysterious wisdom seems to  frustrate us  when we try to drill down our journey with him into a single set of easy answers.   God often reminds me of a piano player I used to play with.  This guy was famous (or infamous) for saying, “ok – here we go, it’s in E (or D or C or whatever key he felt like playing)  just follow me” and he’d take off playing something none of us had ever heard before.  God seems a lot like that. The master creator, weaving point and counterpoint, melody and harmony  into a song that would have  Handel in tears, Bach gasping in amazement , and have Dave Matthews looking for a new line of work. All  you can do is try to keep up and watch him for the changes.

Posted by: ubahleeob | July 10, 2009

Dreams Coming True

job quote

I took this picture four or five years ago.  It is one of many plaques that surround a fountain at Baytowne Wharf  in the  Sandestin Beach Resort.  I remember the day I took this.  It was actually the day we were leaving.  We had just eaten breakfast at Another Broken Egg and the fountain got my attention.  I remember actually saying a little prayer under my breath,  something like, “Lord, I really want to live here.  I want to return to the days of my youth.”

You have to understand, my love of things Floridian does not come from some misplaced vacation lust. Generations of my family have called Northwest Florida home.  I spent many, many days as a youth on the beaches and bayous of Bay County.  So, it’s not that I had a great vacation and thought this would be the place to live.  No, for me it is deeper.  Honestly, I can’t really explain it.  It just “is”.

So now, within the next couple of weeks we will be moving to Panama City Beach.   As the swallows return to Capistrano, so this Lee is returning to Panama City.  But this isn’t something that just happened.  As with most things, God has taken years to work some of this out.  As I have said before, the weaving of our lives and experiences together is one of  God’s greatest miracles.  God, having worked all of this out eons ago, orchestrates our lives — not  only individually, but together, to form something that is at the same time exciting, wonderful, and if you are moving your family across the country — a bit scary.

I made another  move three years ago.  Sold my home etc etc and moved to Clarksville,  Tennessee to follow another dream. While that dream remains unfulfilled, there was something deeper at work.   As we do many times, we think we know what God is doing, but  often he has something else up his sleeve.  When I interviewed for the job that is taking me  to the Emerald Coast, they were very impressed by my last two years of work experience.  Before moving here I had worked in the same industry, but with a regional company.  It was good, but it wasn’t a major player.  Since moving here I have had the pleasure to work for an industry leader.  It was that experience that caught their eye. I truly believe that without that on my resume, this move might not have happened.

One of the reasons that I even applied for the job in Panama City was due to my wife losing her job.  At the time, I really didn’t think I would get a call.  I have been applying for 18 years with never a call back.  The administration changed at my wife’s  school two years ago. A new principal was brought in.  Honestly, if that principal had chosen to renew her contract this year we would’ve stayed in place.  But instead, the principal’s decision to cut her loose was actually  part of the plan.  Not that I wanted my wife to go through what she did. The principal was wrong in how she treated my wife, but that was part of the design. Sounds like one of those “working all  to your good” things.

Then there is Eastgate.  I have blogged about them before so I won’t belabor the point.   We “found” them at a time when we were really questioning certain things that we  had believed.  Again, not creed sorts of things, but  we were really asking some tough questions.  That was two years ago.  Since then they have become “the family with which we worship.”  Thanks to the invention of the web, we have spent our Sundays huddled around our computers, watching and worshiping.  I think they call us Cybergaters.  My wife and I often had conversations that went like this, “I don’t understand why God let us find Eastgate if  He’s not gonna let us go there.”  Thankfully, he is.  He always was.

There are other things, things that have yet to happen that God will have been setting up for years.  But it’s not just me.  Look at your own life.  You are part of that tapestry, your own life is woven in and through others.  Sometimes for good and sadly sometimes not.  But still, the Great Orchestrator of all does have a plan and it really is better than anything we could’ve hoped for or imagined.

I was talking to one of my Chef’s yesterday.  This gentleman is a wonderful chef, partly because of his Italian-Czechoslovakian heritage.  He was asking questions about our move and he said, “so I hear that you have been wanting this for over 18 years?”  I said yes something like that.  He then said, “well boss, it looks to me like your dreams are coming true.”   Our dreams are coming true.  I believe they are indeed.

Posted by: ubahleeob | June 26, 2009

The Sands of Time

hourglass

June 25th, 2009 was a tough day for my generation.  Within the span of eight hours two of the most visible faces of a generation vanished into history.   People will talk, cry, accuse, eulogize,  demean, joke (gallows humor I guess), and well, do what I am doing.  As I sat last night watching MTV’s wall-to-wall  coverage of Michael Jackson’s death all I could think  was, “wow, I remember the first time I heard ……”

I remember when I found out that Elvis had died.  I was listening to 94Q -FM in Atlanta. Long before the day of the 24 news cycle — the DJ actually had to say, “I am not kidding, Elvis is dead.”  But I was only 16 or 17 when that King died, at least to my mind, I had my entire life ahead of me. Maybe that is why this has hit me be in such a weird way.

Now in my mid-40’s I wonder, exactly how much time do I really have left?    Life looks different this far along. Different things make me happy.  I don’t want what I did when I was a teenager running up and down the country roads of Pike County Georgia.  My dreams have changed, my hopes have morphed.

I heard a radio commentator say this morning that we American’s have a sick fascination  with death.  That may be true to a point, but I think the fascination is actually more with our own deaths, our own mortality, that nagging something that asks, “did I do all I could? ”  “Did I let my fear of _____ keep me from doing ______?” ” How will I be remembered?” and my all time favorite, “Is this all there really is?”

This reminds me of “This Is Your Life ” by Switchfoot.  For those that need a refresher, the chorus says (sing along if you know it):

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Granted, not really what you want to hear when in a melancholy mood.  Still the questions have to be asked. It’s the answers that are hard, necessary —  but hard.

Peace

Posted by: ubahleeob | June 17, 2009

Not The End

the_end

Here’s the story– wanted the job, interviewed three times for job, didn’t get job, really bummed.   Yep, six weeks of my life boiled down to 13 words.  Of course there is way more to the story, there always is isn’t there? Read my last post if you want to know the rest of the story.  I can’t believe this is the end.  I can’t believe that the God that I have believed in, the Lord that I have followed is a mean little kid.  How’s that?   I don’t think God is like the kid that gets pleasure from burning up ants with a magnifying glass.  I don’t believe He gets pleasure from playing keep away.  I don’t believe that our Savior is into playing mind games for the sake of showing us that he can do whatever he wants because he’s God.

I started this a couple of weeks ago.  So much has happened since then.  Here’s more of the story: (as I said) I  didn’t get the job, went on vacation to unwind, while on vacation saw same company was hiring same position in the town where I was vacationing (also the place I really wanted to live), called recruiter to advise of my interest, Recruiter had already sent my info to hiring manager (before I even knew job was available), received call to set up interview next morning (while standing in a bay where I had fished as a kid), interviewed that afternoon at the condo where I was staying (my commute to the interview was from the 19th floor to the 1st Floor), had one of the best interviews ever.   I don’t know how many words that was, but that’s a fairly honest retelling of what happened.  As of this writing I know that they are interviewing others for the same position, I was actually the first they met.

So what’s going on here?  A couple of things jump right out.  First, the end is never the end.  I thought my hope to relocate had been dashed, but time revealed another plan — one I couldn’t have written if I had tried.  Also, as Followers of Jesus, we will have no end.  Even if our body is killed, we have the promise that we will be with Jesus and then there is  the resurrection.   I have also been reading James 1 a lot.  I mentioned some verses from James in one of my other posts, but I love this part as well:

5-8If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. (The Message)

Ask boldly, without a second thought.  Well, let’s be honest — do you do that?  I know I don’t.  During this 6 weeks I think I am up to my 1098765 to the 19th power thoughts.  James ends this section with (basically) ” oh, and don’t hedge your bets either”.  Guilty as charged there too. The problem with waiting seems to be not in just the waiting.  What seems to bug us is the seeming lack of activity.  Somewhere deep in our cerebral core is this idea that the creator of the universe must need our help. Our senses think that nothing is happening — so bless God, we are going to give him a hand.  We have to be doing all we can do, we have to be available (which is code for doing all you can do). We have to make sure that every stone is overturned, every road is explored, every thought or whisper is parsed and discerned.  It’s almost as if God would be surprised to learn that we are broken, mistake prone creations in need of his constant help.

Ok, this is starting to ramble  so let me see if I can land this puppy.   What have I learned so far?  No matter where you are, it is not the end.  No matter how bleak it seems, God is still there — Aslan still roams about.  I don’t understand why life takes us down the roads that it does.  I don’t know why the God that said “enter in through the narrow gate” and “straight is the path” has to take us on such ….. interesting routes, but he does. Regardless of the path, regardless of the road, whether I get this job that I want or not — one truth remains; this is not the end.

Peace

Posted by: ubahleeob | May 14, 2009

Why Do We Always Have To Wait?

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I don’t know about you, but I hate to wait. I  always have.  It’s my dad’s fault I think, he HATES lines and waiting.  He blames it on the Air Force, always with the hurry up and wait.  I had my time in Air Force as well, and yes, it is maddening.   When I travel I have been known to take the long way around just to avoid some expected or perceived  delay.  My theory is at least I’m moving.  I know, I need help — Hi I’m John, I’m a waitaphobic.  

But actually, waiting is  intrinsically tied to the human experience.  We have to wait for everything. What child of the 60’s or reader of Ecclesiastes doesn’t know that everything has a time of preparation (…to everything turn, turn, turn,..there is a season….)  You would think that after 30 or 40 years of waiting I would be better at it.  But still, I want what I want and I want it now.  I feel like Paul when he wrote that he was guilty of doing things he knew were unhealthy or wrong.  I don’t want to fight the waiting. I know that at times it is necessary . Still I watch the clock, check the phone, search the calendar.  Like I said –professional intervention might be in order.

Right now, at this very moment I am waiting for a call.  Over the past three weeks I have been interviewing for a job in northwest Florida. This call would set up what should be the last of three interviews.   Moving to Florida is  something that my wife and I have been talking, praying and dreaming about for over 18 years, and filling up my blogs since I started writing (see my last entry and the title of my site for proof if needed).  Life has always led us down a path that, to this point, never included a permanent residence in Florida.  

So you can imagine how excited, frustrated, almost stressed we have been these past three week as we wait for the outcome.  And the questions that have run through our minds, oh the wacky questions: ” Why haven’t they called?”, “Doesn’t God know how much we have wanted this? Why would he let them call me in the first place if we weren’t going to get the job?”, and my all time favorite (this is a direct result of my past religious training) “Satan knows how much we want to live down there, maybe this is his way of giving us what we want and then wrecking our marriage .”   I told you — I needed professional help!

So what do you do?  Actually there is only one thing you can do and what’s that class?  Yes, you in the back, that’s right –I have to wait.  It’s funny, as I was typing this a verse came to my mind, James 1:7 –Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle.(The Message)  Nothing deceitful, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle — He can be trusted, always trusted.   Feels like I need to stick in a  “Selah” at this point so here you go,   Selah.

Hopefully the next thing I post will be about the trials and tribulations of moving or how my kids are ticked because I am moving them closer to the beach (they are evidently  made of a compound that melts when it comes  into direct contact with salt water), or how God really did answer our 18 years of prayer.  Of course, he already has.  Never deceitful, not two-faced or fickle — full of light.  Again, Selah.

Peace

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